Well...I am a survivor! I had to talk in church yesterday about my upcoming trip and it was like "Angie: Unplugged." The tears, sweat, snot, and more tears were flowing. I KNEW I did not want to do this, but I survived. I got lots a positive feedback and support from my church family after this, so I feel ok about it now. BUT it was NOT FUN for me. I wish I could talk to people about it and not be so emotional, but as I heard echoed from my church family yesterday, my emotions show that the Holy Spirit is moving in me and working through this adventure.
A few comments that struck me yesterday that I would like to share. Before I blubbered my way through what my next few months look like, Pastor Gary laid his hand on my shoulder and said "I bet when you were a little girl, you would never have imagined that this is what you're life would hold." HE WAS RIGHT!!! Up until a year ago, I never imagined I would do it. I do have an bold imagination and personality, but fear always stops me dead in my tracks and turns me back to same old, same old. Joshua 1:9 has become my theme verse over the past couple of months...
9"Have I not commanded you? Be strong and courageous! Do not tremble or be dismayed, for the LORD your God is with you wherever you go."
I LOVE THIS VERSE!!! Sandy Shalin-Rhoades shared it with my last June (thanks Sandy, you're an amazing friend) when we were in Nicaragua as I was beginning to see how God really was calling me to Nicaragua and as I met a dear friend Natalie there, who was struggling with the same issues as I was. Really feeling like God was calling me there, but having no sense for how, where or when. I was so afraid to say "OK God, I'm listening this time." But, He is faithful and will be with me WHEREVER I GO including Nicaragua and always. I also remember and old saying "We know not what the future holds, but we do know who holds the future." This too brings me great comfort...
Another dear church friend said to me "So, you're going to be a missionary." Well, the term freaked me out! BUT yes, I am. However, aren't we all?? We are all called to be where we are at, and at time in my life when I don't see it, I still know that we are all on the mission field, mine is just now going to look very different!
On another random note...Survivor fans, it was announced last night that the taping will be in Nicaragua for the next 2 seasons. This is SO exciting for me, I'll be watching this time even though I've never watched before. I hope some of you will too, this will give you a very good idea of the country. Of course, if you don't want to watch the show, you can always come visit me and see it for yourselves :-)
Thanks for reading, I appreciate it! Pray for continued confidence and lack of fear for me, at times I really wonder what I'm getting myself in to...
