Processing...

Well, I have been home for almost 2 weeks and when people ask me about my trip, I still get tears and am not sure how to answer them. How can I put in to words what I felt like to be back in Nicaragua, and even more see my little loves again? So, all I can do is try...

My trip ended up being delayed by one day because of bad weather in Houston. So, while I was bummed I am glad that I didn't find out when I showed up at the airport at 4 am! I flew in on a Saturday and was instantly sweating...it is SO hot there in May! I stayed with Emily and Laura and it just didn't feel like it had been 2 years. I can never describe to people the bond that you have when you live with someone in a foreign country and I still can't. It was just great, love those girls!

On Sunday we went to church and to the beach. The awe of that never gets old to me...laying in a hammock, reading a book and listening to the crash of the waves is simply amazing.

On Monday I was able to spend some time at NCA and saw my kiddos who are now in 6th grade. It's crazy to me to think that they were only in 1st grade when I met them. They are all so big and smart and just doing so well. I saw a lot of familiar faces and got lots of sweaty but sweet hugs. It felt good.

On Tuesday I met my friend Tim who runs a scholarship program based on a grant that he got through a world known organization ( and I can't remember the name of it!). I am blessed to be able to sponser Jose Angel. He is in elementary school in a private school in his neighborhood near Managua. Tim has asked if I wanted to meet him and I must admit I was a bit nervous to go, mainly because of the language barrier. But he took me to his house, and he wasn't there. His father's girlfriend told Tim that he has been wanting to be in the streets and has not been attending school. I should back up the bus a bit. About 2 months ago, I got a message from Tim that Jose Angel was sick and they initially thought he had gotten a virus from a bug bite but since it was not getting better they checked him for leukemia. Well, long story short they have ruled that out as well but he is not anemic. Anyways, he has not been in school since then and has wanted to be on the streets. We told her we would be back to check if he was back. I went to the schools to see them, visited a few more scholarship kids and went back to Jose Angel's house. He was there and so I was able to meet with him. We were not able to communicate but his father said that he is not making good choices and we just shared that we want what is best for him and that Tim and I will support him in whatever way we can. After seeing the house, my heart broke. We went straight to the grocery store and bought a heaping cart full of food for him and his family. It baffles me how every time I am there, I am struck by the sad reality of the reality of the lack of resources these people suffer with daily. It was absolutely nothing for me to go buy them a cart full of food, but their gratitude and joy will never be forgotten by me. We had a few more adventures that day, but I went home with a full heart. It was refreshing to see someone SO passionate about the work they are doing. I was amazed at what I saw and so grateful to play a small role in it.

Wednesday was the big day. I got on a little tiny plane with Tim and flew to Puerto Cabezas to see my boys. I was SO nervous on that little plane (sorry again Tim for the death grip I had on you) and when it landed, I cried. I was so relieved, but I believe more than that the reality that I got to hugs my littles became a reality. It was really happening! My friend Camille met us at the airport and we went to the orphanage. I was shaking and didn't stop talking. I didn't really know what to expect. I saw Leo first, and he was very shy and hid behind Camille. He looking at me like he knew me, but he wasn't quite sure what to do. Then I saw Frankie from a distance and had to control my urge to just go grab him. He was in his room and wouldn't come out, but once he did, the reunion was so sweet. He hugged and talked for a bit and I just couldn't get enough of them. They got comfortable real fast and so did I. They showed me around and we talked and they played on my phone and mostly looked at my pictures. We hung out for a bit and then they had to do tutoring and rest time, so we went to the beach. It was fun but I was anxious to get back. We went back and I brought them some cars and other little toys and just talked and hung out. I asked Frankie if he liked it there. He looked right at me and said "No, I want to go with you. Please, take me to your house." Well, in true Angie fashion I started bawling and told him that I would try. They ate dinner and then we had to leave. The next morning I was up at 4:30 because I was so excited to see them again. I just had a few minutes with them before they went to school. I hugged them, told them I loved them, dripping tears and snot on them and left. They both asked if I could come back, and of course I promised that I would. And then I was left to process it. I'm still there, still not sure how to process it all. Bottom line, I am so grateful to have had the chance. I'm beyond aware of how God timed it and orchestrated the whole trip. I'm forever grateful for Tim who made the trip with me. And to Camille, who planned and organized this all as well as traveled several hours by boat to make this possible. My heart was full. Tim, I don't know if you will read this (probably not) but I can never repay you for your role in this. You saw me and my best and you saw me at my worst. That is no easy task! So, THANK YOU!!!

When we got back to Managua, I was just sad. I had to say good bye to my boys and my heart was broken. I also knew the good byes with every one else had to start and it's hard. Love to go see people but my heart rips out of my chest when I have to leave again.

So, what's the next step? I don't know, I still will try whatever I can to bring Frankie and Leo home with me if it's possible. I have connections to a lawyer but need a husband before I can adopt. They recently changed the law that single people can not adopt. But I refuse to give up, and I know that if this is going to happen it will and God will provide ALL things needed (including a husband if that is the case).

So, how was my trip? Loaded question, and I still don't know how to answer. My heart aches to return and if they told me I had to move there to get the boys I would invite you all to my going away party :-) Please pray for me, for the boys, for clarity, and for all things to be what they will be. I pray that this is just another step in the journey with my loves. Only time will tell...

Thank you ALL for still reading, it means so much that people still care and still ask. Makes me feel loved <3