Another update...

I know, I know it's been a long time since I've written and there is a reason...just not a good one :-)

I wanted to give you a quick (ok, we know I don't do these quick) update an further adoption stuff so the best place to start is at the beginning.

Anyone who knows me, knows that my heart is to bring Frankie home with me. I have loved that little man since the first time I picked him up when he was 2 years old. Those dark brown eyes had me at hello.

In April, I got a message from a friend in Nicaragua who asked if I was still wanting to adopt Frankie, my response was a quick and loud yes! She passed along information for a lawyer who may be able to help me and I sent an e-mail. She responded and told me what needed to be done and even though I had done it before it all felt new to me. She had me send information on the boys because I felt like I would try get Leo as well. Their bond is that of brothers and I knew if it was in my power, they would not be split up. Anyways, I did the initial things that she asked me to do, and waited to hear back from her.

In July, she told me that since I knew the child I was wanting to adopt, I had to write a letter directly to the director of Mi Familia to request that they allow me to work on the specific boys. I wrote my biography, spoke of the connection I had to them, and sent it in. She told me she would present it to the director and get back to me. Well, she got back to me last night. It was a short e-mail telling me that it would not be possible for me to get the boys because you can't adopt as a single person if you don't have Nicaraguan residency.

I read a quote recently that says " When you go through a trial, THE SOVEREIGNTY OF GOD is the pillow upon which you lay your head." The pillow is tear stained today, but I trust in God's ultimate plan for mine and the boys' life. I had so desperately hoped that our lives would be together. I don't know what the next step is for me, the desire to adopt that has been in my heart since I was 12 is still there, but after 2 failed attempts, I feel like I need to rest for awhile. It has been a whirlwind of emotions and a sad reality for me. The biggest struggle is that I know they are just a number where they are at, and my heart breaks daily for my little loves when I think about how they live day in and day out.

So, as always, here are the things you can pray for:
~Just peace, straight up peace about it all
~Bigger faith to trust that this is the right thing, even though it feels just awful
~Protection for the boys, I'm so glad they don't know what is going on and most importantly that they would grow to know and love the God who loves them more that they can imagine
~Clear answers to all the questions that are swirling around in my head right now
~A shot gun wedding with a groom who loves the Lord and wants to jump in to an adoption process for 2 of the cutest 7 years olds around :-)

Thanks again for reading, I do so much feel your love and prayers. If you happen to see me and ask about it, expect some tears. Much love to you all!